Psychologists often describe emotional triggers as people, places, phrases, attitudes, behaviors, or things that we encounter which immediately trigger a negative emotional response from us because they remind us of a painful moment, time period, or experience from our past – and many times those complicated emotions are beneath the surface. There are a number of ways to confront and deal with those emotional triggers but here are 5 steps you can take which can be helpful and implemented in your life today: 1) Process, 2) Pray, 3) Pronounce, 4) Produce, 5) Practice.
Have you ever wondered why it seems as if there are times when it seems as if our past wants to continually resurface into our present? There are moments when it seems that something someone does reminds you of your past relationships, or a past painful experience. People already have challenges expressing their true emotions, but there are definitely times that seem tougher than others! And according to a Time magazine article, most people are unaware that they are in fact ruled by their emotions which can even be the root cause of certain health conditions. As such, without a pin-point approach and strategy to dealing with emotional triggers, they’ll get the best of us every time!
As Christians, we know that complicating matters further is our archenemy – Satan (and his minions!) – who work strategically to try to defeat a victorious people every day! And that’s often where we miss it – we imagine Satan as a caped-figure with horns, a tail, and pitchfork! But nothing couldn’t be further from the truth! Satan, according to the Bible, is a spirit-being, with the ability to make intelligent suggestions to us, trying to evoke a response from us and one who is in the business of manipulating our emotions to get us to act out of God’s will. Compound that with the already-present emotional insecurities we all deal with, and here comes a myriad of problems – all designed to ruin relationships and keep us in the muck and mire of our unprocessed emotions!
So, here are the 5 steps you can take today to stop these emotional triggers from getting the best of you today!
- Process
The first and possibly most important step to take is to process what’s going on right there in the moment. Process implies awareness. When we are emotionally triggered by someone or something, we can easily withdraw or become angry. With whatever you feel in the moment, notice how you are feeling in the moment and how your body is responding to the trigger. One of the most disarming and helping things to do at the onset of an emotional trigger is to simply breathe. Take a moment and monitor and control your breathing – with deep, long breaths. It’s remarkable how breathing can slow down not only our heartrate, our thinking, but also our emotional buildup – and with a little practice, can help us control our emotions from the onset of an emotional trigger.
Identify what emotion it is you are feeling in the moment and ask yourself “why do I feel this way right now?” The immediate work of processing helps to unclutter your mind so you can easily sift through what is reality and what are your emotions – which can quickly escalate a harmless or innocent moment into a complete reliving of a past experience. Take control by processing what’s going on with you in the moment.
- Pray
Often we miss this incredible opportunity right in the middle of us sorting through our emotions to involve God in the process! It is a revolutionary idea to think that God is just as invested in our emotional balance as we are, or as invested in us as a therapist. Afterall, he created us – so why not? Prayer not only helps separate our emotional frenzy of the moment, but it also lifts us into a spiritual relm to have access to a high-level view of the spiritual and emotional terrain at hand – and allows us to get his view of the moment. The Epistle of James in the New Testament instructs believers in the First Century CE plainly that the answer to our testing is prayer (James 5:13 NIV).
Through prayer you can take a deeper look into the trigger and see not only areas in your life that may need healing, but also discern if there is a spiritual manipulator close by and at work (2 Corinthians 10:4-5 NIV)! It is not enough to master our emotions if we don’t also identify to root of the trigger. However, the opposite is true – it’s not enough to be aware of our spiritual enemy if we never master our emotions. So, pray!
- Pronounce
Right after praying to God, we must now use our God-given authority to speak. In the beginning, God moved, and then God spoke. Speaking is a God-function that has been delegated to humanity. And speaking brings with it the power to create life and death (Provers 18:21 NIV). Life is the miracle. Death is the default. Life must be actively maintained, but death is the ultimate result of not doing anything at all! We have an incredible opportunity after every emotional trigger to use that moment to speak to ourselves the truth of the situation. It takes courage to say:
- I’m not that person
- This is not my reality
- I am loved
- I am valued
- I am enough
Those affirming words can come from others, but in order to disarm the “trigger” it is imperative that those affirming words come from you. Immediately, you signal to your emotions and your spiritual enemy the truth about the moment and extract any false reality that is trying to be inserted otherwise. You control the moment when you pronounce truth over it (John 8:32 NIV).
- Produce
The next step to the emotional trigger is to produce an action based on truth we’ve now embraced. It could be as simple as initiating a conversation or taking a next step. Whatever it is, it is vital to respond to truth and not your emotions. If the trigger is to withdraw, you must choose to act in the opposite – all of this being an exercise in self-control (Proverbs 16:32 NIV)! Of course, the flood of emotions, memories, and our bodies’ physical response to a trigger usually seem overwhelming, but that is precisely the moment to re-route the ship and chart a new course!
This act we take seals the new experience and begins the process of replacing a negative experience with a positive one, so we must act! If the person who unknowingly said or did something that emotionally triggered you, the next step could be to have a gentle conversation with them and not allow your emotions to get the best of you in the moment – for which there are several guides. That’s been a prime way that has ruined relationships countless times over – and ours as well! So, don’t allow inaction to hold you hostage, produce an action based on truth.
- Practice
Finally we’ve all heard the saying – “practice makes perfect”! Well, the reality is that our feelings never truly go away because we never lose this physical body (as long as we are living!). Although emotional triggers can diminish to the point that they don’t have control over us, we will always have the “ability” to become angry, to become selfish, to become withdrawn, to respond negatively to an emotional trigger – but we can also “choose” not to do so, and those triggers can have less and less influence on our daily behavior and reactions as we practice new and simple habits.
Outside of a miracle, our bodies will still have scars to remind us of where we were cut and where we were healed. And so too, we have emotional scars. However, the scars don’t have to have us. Practice is the final step to breaking free of the power of emotional triggers and sometimes, it’s ignoring the simple instructions that tie us up! Rehearsing, repeating, continuing are all actions that required a focused effort on our part. However, if we practice, we can be made perfect (Hebrews 12:23 NIV).
Conclusion
Emotional triggers elicit a response from us that is emotionally charged because those “triggers” transport us to a moment in time that was painful and begins a near automatic response from us that usually ends with damaged relationships, poor self-conceptualization, and repeats a cycle of spiritual defeat. Although there are several perspectives on dealing with emotional triggers, there are basic tenants they share about the importance of emotional awareness. Being aware of our emotions is the first step in a process that ends with practicing the five steps on a continual basis: Process, Pray, Pronounce, Produce, Practice. Emotional triggers may still be present, but following these steps will help ensure that they do not have to ruin our relationships and much more, our lives.
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