His Take on How to Pray for Him
Prayer is vital to every believer. The writer of the gospel of Luke records Jesus admonishing believers to remain in a state of perpetual prayer (Luke 18:1 NIV). If you are a Christian single, prayer is a necessary tool to navigate the changing tides of life. For Christian singles looking to be married one day, prayer is too often neglected when in preparation for covenant. As such, there are a number of great resources to outline ways to pray. There are great books, like the series published by Stormie Omartian, and popular prayer blogs like Rita Brooks’. Also, there are online guides like Candice Watters’, online journals, and short focus topic areas of prayer. Staple brands like Lifeways’ site walk believers through a number of prayer strategies as well. Indeed, there are a number of helpful resources available when it comes to praying for one’s future husband.
There is – one caveat, though.
Most (if not nearly all) of these resources about prayer for one’s future husband are from a woman’s perspective. While there is nothing wrong whatsoever with that perspective, there is something to be said about including his perspective. Christian men should share what matters to them for their prayer needs. Maybe it’s true that men don’t pray enough and need to start. And perhaps men’s silence betrays their yearning for a deeper relationship with God. Ultimately including his perspective will enhance the prayer strategy you will need to see results (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV).
Here are 5 Ways to Pray for Your Future Husband from a current husband’s perspective, covering: Faith, Identity, Health, Discipline, Consecration.
1. Faith
Faith is central to everything we do as believers. As Christians, there is simply no way to please God without faith (Hebrews 11:6 NIV). According to Webster’s dictionary, one of the definitions of faith is “a belief and trust in and loyalty to God”. An article on CNN depicted a high-profile Christian rock band leader, Jonathan Steingard, who posted on Instagram that he no longer believes in God. The faith of men is constantly under attack. Too often Christian women pray for their future husband’s commitment (to her, family, etc.), but don’t target his faith. And while it’s true there are a number of reasons men struggle with commitment, at the core of our issue is really a lack of faith.
Faith requires for men to trust someone that we can’t see, feel, or touch. Also, we’ve been raised all of our lives hearing slogans like “trust no one” and to “make it happen”! Invariably, faith challenges the core of how we function in a world we are too often trying to control! So, pivot your prayers for him from commitment to a true faith. Pray that his faith in God remains steadfast and secure. Realize that his future commitment to you will only flow out of a deep, abiding faith in God.
Prayer: God, I ask that you cover my future husband right now. Guard his heart, mind and spirit from every negative voice that comes to strip him of his faith. Let him trust you, rely upon you, depend upon you, in every area of his life. Lord, according to your Word in 2 Corinthians 5:7 (NIV) we walk by faith and not by sight. So allow him to fully walk with you by faith, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
2. Identity
Many believers focus on seeking God for purpose. Believers as a number of questions, such as ,”Why am I here?” And, they ask, “What am I supposed to be doing?” Indeed, one of the bestselling Christian books of all time is Rick Warren’s book, “The Purpose Driven Life”. These are certainly questions that you want your husband to be settled on beforehand! So praying about purpose is a good thing. However, there is a deeper issue at play. The root issue for many men is not fully understanding and embracing their identity in Christ.
Images and ideas constantly depict what manhood and masculinity are – challenging our notions of self in the process. Our identity is important in human psychology, but even more so in the Kingdom! Ultimately, God gives every man both his purpose and identity. Christ is the source of our life and our identity – and so we must search Christ out to discover who we are (Colossians 3:3 NIV)! Jesus’ disciples personified this dilemma in the Gospels. Although Jesus walked with his disciples daily, only one had a revelation of who he (Jesus) was! In turn, Jesus gave that disciple (Peter) a revelation of who he would become in the Kingdom (Matthew 16:15-18 NIV)! Once we understand our individual identity, our purpose will naturally flow from that understanding! So pray for his reveled identity to firmly plant him in his purpose.
Prayer: Lord, thank you for your presence. I know that you hear me because I pray according to your Word. Right now, I lift up my future husband who is in your hands right now. God, cause him to seek you for his identity in you right now. According to your Word in Daniel 11:32 (NIV), you declare that in order to be strong and do exploits, we must know God. So Lord, let my future husband know you so intimately that you reveal to him his identity in you. And let him remain planted and settled in his identity, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
3. Health
According to WebMD, the greatest physical threat to men (in America) is cardiovascular/heart disease. Likewise, according to Psychology Today, one of the greatest emotional threats to men is suicide. In fact, men make up 75% of all suicide victims in the United States alone – that’s one man dying every 20 minutes! Often as men get sick, sicker, and die – they do so in silence. There is a connection between our silence and our sickness – emotionally and physically. And the writer of the book of Proverbs was keen to link our emotional state to our “heart” and on our being (Proverbs 17:22 NIV). One of the greatest challenges we have as men is asking for help.
Taking the first step to reign in our health often times requires us to be uncomfortable. We have to swallow our pride, reach out, and have an uncomfortable but honest conversation about our health with those who can help us. They are our doctors, physical therapists, nutritionists, trainers, accountability partners, etc. In order to maximize your future life together, you want your future husband to be as healthy as he can be. He must be healthy spiritual, physically and emotionally. Pray for his health to flourish! And pray for him to talk to trained professionals about the health concerns he knows he has!
Prayer: Jesus you are Lord and King. You made our bodies and you are the source of our healing and strength. I ask you now to cover my future husband right now mentally and physically. According to your Word in Jeremiah 30:17 (NIV), you are the One who restores our health. So God restore my future husband emotionally. I come against depression and suicidal thoughts in his life right now, in Jesus’ name. Restore his physical health and bring him in contact with people with whom he can be honest, open and transparent. Give him health, so we can work in your Kingdom together, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
4. Discipline
Discussing the topic of money, Benjamin Franklin once said that “money never made a man happy yet, nor will it”. Indeed, Paul tells his protégé Timothy that “the love of money is the root of all evil” (1 Timothy 6:10 NIV). Yet, the Scriptures also say that money is an answer to the problems one may face (Ecclesiastes 10:19 NIV). Indeed, according to renowned experts at Psychology Today, men and women often look at money/finances differently. Unfortunately, many men do not manage their finances effectively.
Women in turn often think of a dashing knight to the rescue financially! So they pray for a husband that is wealthy, or has a good job, or runs a successful business. But, none of that will mean much if he doesn’t have the discipline to manage his finances well! Christian writers write often on the subject of how to cultivate discipline. But of the areas covered, discipline is often needed most in our finances. Though there are helpful reads to develop discipline, the greatest guide and admonishment comes from God’s Word! In fact, it states simply to discipline our bodies and keep them under control (1 Corinthians 9:27 ESV)! So pray against all forms of lack of discipline in your future husband’s life! Do not pray just that he makes a lot of money, but that he has the discipline to handle it!
Prayer: God, I honor you for my future husband’s life. I know that you will not leave me uncovered, but you will give me someone who will provide for me and our family. Thank you that according to your Word in Revelation 3:19 (NIV), you discipline your sons because you love them. So, Lord, help him to learn to receive your instruction and discipline. Let him discipline himself to manage his affairs with wisdom and self-control, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
5. Consecration
Today, the modern Church is in a crisis – a sexual purity crisis. There are countless Christian men addicted to pornography and lust runs the billion-dollar pornographic industry. According to ministry group Covenant Eyes, 64% of Christian men say they watch porn at least once a month! It is very difficult to maintain sexual purity when we are inundated with sex all day long in advertising. Yet, God calls us to a life of purity and to “present” ourselves to him as holy (Romans 12:1-2 NIV). While the prayer for purity is good for your future husband, the prayer for his personal consecration is better.
Online bible research tool, Blue Letter Bible defines “consecration” as being “set apart, sanctified” among other definitions. So, pray that he fully dedicates his life to God and yields himself to God’s process for sexual purity. Pray that he does this by consecrating himself through regular prayer, fasting, study, worship, and accountability. He must learn while he is single to honor God in his body. And he must do the hard work of keeping himself away from his sexual appetites, cravings, and desires. It is indeed something we learn to do, as it is not natural for us! We must decide to live consecrated lives to God as expected in his Word. Pray for a husband whose life is truly consecrated to God!
Prayer: Lord God, I honor you as the holy God that you are. You are sacred, sovereign, righteous, and your glory fills the Temple! Right now I come to you on behalf of my future husband. I know he is inundated every day with impure images and thoughts – challenging his sexual purity. God, I ask you now, that he consecrate his life on a deeper level. Father, according to your Word in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 (NIV), enable him to know the depths of holiness you desire of his life. And let him walk courageously in setting himself apart to your exclusive will for his life, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Covenant Conversations is a community to help single Christians navigate the process of finding Covenant. We realized that there has been no clear blueprint to date “God’s way” and prayerfully we developed our model, our strategies, and our process to assist singles on their journey to covenant ~ Tiffany & Imhotep Newsome
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